Tricia Dishes

Thursday, January 31, 2008

Rain rain, go away......

It is a dark and stormy day. It looks to be a dark and stormy night. BUT, I had an absolutely restful night's sleep last night, I actually didn't get up until, are you ready for this, NOON!!!! It was thundering and dark and I just felt so cozy in my clean sheets, with my little cat curled up beside me. And yes, I felt a tad guilty, but dang it, I am tired, and I need my rest!! And yesterday, I felt great! The physical therapy on Tuesday really did a world of good, I woke up yesterday raring to go, with hardly any pain, so I finally got some things done! I put David's work shirts upstairs in a closet, I actually washed, folded, and PUT UP some clothes, changed sheets on the bed, and started reading a book!! It is actually a light hearted mystery book, not one on grieving, heaven, or death, which is all I have been reading lately. Granted, night before last I had a sobfest, one loud enough that the cats came and checked on me, but like I said, when I woke up yesterday, I felt wonderful! It's been eight and a half weeks since David left. I miss him terribly, words cannot describe how much I miss him, and how sad I am that he isn't here, but it feels that this week I don't have the feeling that he will be walking back in at any time. I feel guilty about that, but I know that David would be saying that it was about time! And I know he is here with me, I just feel his presence. But, I am becoming accustomed to figuring out what I want to eat, what I want to watch, and after being David's caregiver for so long, plus being his wife for decades longer, it is a weird feeling, to know that it is just me that I have to take care of. And I am coming to terms with that. I do have my terror about what I am going to do to make a living, though, but I don't dwell on that right now. I can't. I have to continue to heal mentally and physically, which I am doing, and then I will be more able to figure out what I am supposed to do with the rest of my life. It is mind boggling, to say the least! It will just take time, and that's okay.
Tomorrow is supposed to be sunny and cool, so I hope I wake up as refreshed and pain free as I have been for the last couple of days. I do have things to do tomorrow, plus Linda will be coming over and that is really a lot of fun. I am ready for it to get here!!!! And then the Super Bowl is Sunday. I will have my own party of one!
I just got a very sweet card from a semi-neighbor today. She commented on how nice the tribute to David was and how if I needed anything, to give them a call. Isn't that lovely? I truly do appreciate it and it certainly lets me know that I am NOT alone. Oops, I just got teary-eyed. Thank you, Anita. You don't know how much your card meant to me. I know how hard it is for you to say goodbye to your friend. But who knows, David may be in the welcoming committee!! He is probably a "greeter", like at Wal-mart, because he loved meeting new people!! I just hope that he doesn't have to wear a special vest!!! Unless the vest is made of gold, then that is fine!!
Okay, that's it for now. Everyone have a great afternoon and a great Friday!!

Wednesday, January 30, 2008

Update on the moving van

All right. It went away, without anybody loading anything into it. BUT, BUT, my hope is that they came at the wrong time and will be back later on this afternoon. It could happen!! I mean, why ELSE would there be one in front of their house, except to move their sorry selves away from here????!! AGREED??? AGREED!!! Keep those "moving" thoughts headed this way!!!

Guess what?

Y'all, I'm afraid to breathe wrong, I'm afraid to hope, but.....there is a moving van in front of the yp's house. What a wonderful birthday present I would have if they left by this weekend!! Think "moving" thoughts, okay?? I will keep you posted.

Tuesday, January 29, 2008

Okay, they said it was reinstated......


So, I get an email today from the HR person saying that my insurance is reinstated. Okay, I guess I will gear myself up for a trip to the drugstore tomorrow, and we'll see what happens when I get there!! My poor heart can't take any more shocks for a while!
Physical therapy was quite painful today. I don't know if it is the colder weather, the stress, or a combination of everything, but my leg and hip have really been hurting more than usual, lately. Today's visit really hurt, something that my therapist does NOT want happening. She tried traction but after a couple of minutes, I was really in lots of pain and we stopped that! Then she did an ultrasound treatment, which felt very good, but of course, when I made the comment that it was feeling just great, the machine timed out! Then she put me on heat, which loosened me up some. I go back in the morning and she is going to put those little electrodes on me, which I really do like a lot. When they get the pool heater fixed, I think those exercises are going to be what really does the trick. After just one of those sessions, I could feel a difference. Of course, then the pool heater quit. Figures.
I left physical therapy this afternoon, fully expecting to come home, but something just led me to the coffee shop. I walked in, sat down, and here comes Angie, and what a great visit we had. We both decided that it was meant for us to be in there this afternoon. There are no coincidences. She lost her mother recently to cancer, so we had a lot to talk about, and yes, tears were flowing, but in a good way. But you know how I was saying that I had gone a few days without bursting into tears? Well, I've had a couple of sobfests in the last couple of days. I think all of the stress of the insurance crap and the weather and just the fact that I miss talking to my best friend has just all piled up on me and I had to let it out. I think I am allowed, though.
I am about to go to bed now. The wind has been howling tonight. In fact, I thought that someone was pounding on my door, which scared me. I looked out the door, and thank goodness, no one was there, but I sat back down and heard it again! I went out on the deck and looked down - my huge garbage had been blown against the steps and was basically bouncing up and down! It is still there because it has turned colder and the wind is still quite powerful. I hope that Goober doesn't blow away. I can just see it now on CNN - "Fat, Corgi like dog, blowing across Mississippi". Hmmm, that is a pretty funny image!
Night!!! OH, two people today asked if I had lost weight! Yes, I have, thank you very much!!!! And I am plan to continue to do so!
OH, again! Happy Birthday, Pam Z.!! Hope to see you soon!!!

They did it, they actually did it.....

So, yesterday was quite a lovely day. I enjoyed a very nice lunch with Norma, got the social security stuff taken care of, went to the bank, got a few things at the store, and even thought about running by the coffee shop before coming home. But first I had to stop by the drugstore and pick up my prescriptions. Well, what a surprise, I have no health insurance, and my three prescriptions totalled over 150 bucks!!! I KNEW this would happen. Human Resources dragged their feet about the COBRA package, and sure enough, I was cancelled!! I was so upset. I didn't get the medicine, I just left, came home and called the woman who actually does return calls, and basically just screamed into the phone what had just happened!! The COBRA package did show up yesterday (two weeks from the time I was told it was mailed. (Yeah, right.) She did call back and what could she say? I told her that I felt like I had been totally forgotten by IGT! And, on a side note, the person who said that I was going to get the 401K info and she would call me? Not one word or piece of mail from them, and it has been two weeks. Out of sight, out of mind, I guess. Anyway, this other woman told me to fax the forms to them right then, never mind the fact it was almost 4:30, and then it would be reinstated in about 24 hours. Oh, and I have to send them money for January and February, to which I replied that I knew that, I wasn't stupid. The insurance is going to cost me almost 450 dollars a month, but after doing some checking, that seems to be the average rate. So, until I can find a job that has a policy, that is my only option. I was supposed to not have a break in coverage, and if I had received the information in a timely manner, which by law I was supposed to do, I would have not had this problem. Needless to say, it pretty much wrecked my good day. So, people, before you die, make sure that you let your human resources people know way ahead of time to avoid the problems that I have had!! OH, and don't die before the holidays. It really inconveniences them. Do I sound a bit bitter? Sorry.
All right. That's it for now. I have physical therapy this afternoon, but God knows what kinds of bills I am going to be getting for that, and all the rigamarole that I will have to go through to straighten it out!!
Have a good day.

Sunday, January 27, 2008

FRONT PAGE NEWS!!


Go to Vicksburgpost.com and read about my nephew, Joey Gillis. It is a very inspiring article and I just couldn't be prouder of him!! He is the son of David's sister, Susan, who lives in Indiana. Proud, proud, proud!!!! And, anyone in Vicksburg with a newspaper, please save it for me, okay? Thanks!!!
Have a great Monday!

Saturday, January 26, 2008

Saturday morning


So, another week has passed. It's been a cold, mainly rainy week, even a little sleet fell from the sky, but luckily, the temperature was high enough that we didn't have an ice storm. I am certainly glad of that, I do not think I could deal with it, at the moment.
I kind of blew off some of my appointments this week, due to the weather. I just didn't feel like getting out in the rain the other day, so I just sat in the recliner for a few hours. I needed to do that. My counseling session was great, and I felt very good when I left there. Plus, I realized that I had gone a couple of days without bursting into tears, a plus, don't you think? I still think of David almost constantly, and I really can't get his actual passing out of my mind, but the pain is lessening some. But I would be lying if I said I didn't miss him every minute of the day. I was thinking about one of his "stories" and just got really sad that I wouldn't get to hear him tell it anymore. Things like that, little things that just send a little jolt to my heart. I expect those things will happen for the rest of my life. I mean, I am who I am because of him - a mother, a wife, and now I know WAY more than I EVER wanted to know about cancer, so he will always be with me, just not physically. I do get teary eyed, but again, no bursting into tears in the last few days, although I do know that I am not beyond that, not by any means. So, I appreciate all the positive thoughts that I am getting, and please, don't stop praying for me! I need them more than ever, trying to figure out the rest of my life. I can't think too far ahead, though, it is just too painful and scary.

It's been over a week since I was told that the insurance and 401K information was mailed to me. Have I gotten it? Why, NO, I haven't! But I DID get a form, addressed to David, wanting to know why he had been in the hospital in September of 2004. I called them and they hemmed and hawed about not being able to talk to me, they needed to talk to David, and I asked them WHY ON EARTH did I get this now, that the September hospital stay was for cancer surgery, and that he had died last month!!! Then they fell all over themselves apologizing. They just "wanted to make sure that it wasn't work related". Insurance claims had been paid on that surgery in, oh, 2004!!! Why NOW am I getting this cockamamie form??? And again, didn't Human Resources notify them, as I was told they did? I just don't know what else I can do.

Well, I guess I had better start the day. It is almost noon, but hey, it's Saturday. I do have to go to the store, but hopefully, the temperature will rise and it won't be so bitingly cold. And then Linda and I will continue to watch "Angel" tonight. We were just too tired to watch it last night. It has been really great for her to come over, and when we finish "Angel" (only 29 more discs to go!), there's always "Friends", "Buffy", just a plethora of series to watch! I'm ready!!
Have a great weekend and stay safe!!!

Okay, I don't know why the picture of Alley is so little. But that is actually my cat, sitting in her napkin holder. She is very sweet, and more than a little strange!

Wednesday, January 23, 2008

Okey, dokey, it can warm up now!!!


I KNOW it is January. I am totally aware of that. BUT COME ON!! This is Mississippi, we are supposed to have cold come in, freeze us, and then it warms up. But that is not what has been happening this week. It is cold!! I have been trying to keep my thermostat set very low, around 60, and I am freezing, so I had to turn it up! David would be shivering in here, and I would tell him, as he used to tell me years ago, PUT ON A SWEATER! I am terrified that my gas bill is going to be sky high, but with the temperatures only in the forties, well, even the cats are cold!! I am grateful, though, that at least our temperatures aren't below zero, that's just wrong. Remind me of this when I am complaining about the heat this summer, okay? I, at least, can put on a sweater, but in the summer, well, you know. I really hate heat and humidity.

This week has been very odd. First off, I got a new sleeping pill, the one with the talking beaver in the ads. It works! I have even taken a nap, something that I really don't do. I think that my body, which has been so stressed and sleep deprived, is trying to heal. Sleep is what it needs. Then I had another doctor's appointment yesterday, but after waiting close to two hours, the receptionist called a bunch of names, mine included, and said we would have to be rescheduled for this morning. Well I already had a physical therapy appointment this morning, so I now go back to this doctor on February 26!! Oh, and I blew off the physical therapy appointment this morning so I could sleep! Sue me. It was cold and I was comfy!!
Tomorrow I have an appointment with the Social Security office. They called to remind me - then they called back a couple of hours later and told me we could do it over the phone! Ah, the government. At least now, all I have is my counseling appointment, and I think that it will go well. Things may be looking up, I hope. Plus, she (the counselor) will get a kick out of the for sale sign next door!! Now I am just waiting for the moving van, it cannot come too soon!
Today, however, I did venture out to have lunch with Kathie S. at a nice little cafe. It was a place that David and I wanted to try, but never got around to, so I was curious about it. It was very nice, the food was great, but it was cold since we were sitting near the door. But I had a delicious meal and definitely will be going back. Thanks, Kathie!!

That's about it now. I am yawning like crazy so I better go get in the bed. I did stay awake from about 1 to 4:30 this morning, and I thought about David the whole time, but I was resting, and not flopping back and forth, no thrashing around! So, that was okay, although I hope I sleep through the night tonight. I will let you know if Abe Lincoln, the talking beaver, or the spaceman show up in my dreams!!! I am not sure if that would really be a good thing, though. Hmmmm.....
Stay warm!!!

Monday, January 21, 2008

A weird thing to do today......


I designed mine and David's headstone today. Yep, mine, too. It is a double one, very lovely, very bronzy and marbley, with our names and dates. Of course, my expiration date will be determined later, hopefully!! Anyway, I went straight for the plain one, thinking that it would be cheaper, but nope, they were all the same. SO, Norma was with me and she and I both picked our favorite and it was the same, so that was a no-brainer. Then Yolanda, who is absolutely wonderful and she and I really COULD become life long friends, showed us the booklet that could "personalize" the headstone. We looked through it a couple of times, looking to see if there was anything in it that would zero in on David's personality. Nope. I was looking for a picture of a record album or a turn table, but the music stuff was instruments (hey, Carl's family will have NO trouble picking out an electric guitar!) or musical notes. Nothing that said "classic rock", you know? So, guess what I went with? Cats. Yessirree. Cats. The one under his name will be facing my name, the one on my side will be looking at his side. Isn't that great?? I feel very good about it, plus it wasn't quite 3000 bucks, which is what I was afraid it would be. I mean, it was close, but I was okay with this amount. I really feel that I accomplished a lot today, getting that behind me.
I did go to the doctor today and he gave me the sleeping pill that has the talking beaver in the ad. I would really like to see a talking beaver, wouldn't you? Anyway, let's hope it works. Tomorrow I go to physical therapy and to another doctor, so, busy busy busy me, trying to get everything done. It is just after 8 p.m. I think I am about to go to bed. I am exhausted.
That's it for now. Take care and have a good Tuesday!!

Sunday, January 20, 2008

Look at this kitten!!!


It is so cold today, I have pretty much stayed indoors the whole day. I had to turn the heat up, and of course, the first story on the local news is how much higher the gas bills will be because of this cold snap. Great. I guess I will turn it back down and wrap up in a comforter!!
This coming week is a week of appointments - doctor appointments, counselor appointment, physical therapy, and the Social Security office! ARGHHH!! But it all needs to be done, so I will do it!!!
Have a great Monday, folks!!!

Saturday, January 19, 2008

Baby, it's cold outside......


Here it is, Saturday, early afternoon. It is COLD!! The wintry precipitation has melted, but the wind is picking up and it is just downright cold! I am glad that the rain didn't come tonight, since the temp will be down to 23. That could have made for a nasty situation, one that I do not think ANYONE wants to deal with, at the moment! I do have to get out for a little bit this afternoon, but the heater works in the car and I do not plan to stand outside at all. Then, I will get back, and stay toasty and drink hot tea, for the rest of the evening. Sounds like a plan. One of David and my favorite Simpson quotes is "I feel like a warm toasty cinnamon bun". That is what I plan to feel like tonight!

Yesterday, I got some results from the Human Resource person. FINALLY!! They are correcting some mistakes and sending me the information about the COBRA insurance. And then Linda and I went to the coffee shop, where it felt like stepping back into my living room. I was glad to be back there. Then we went to Billy's. Notice a familiarity of these places? It was weird to not have David there, but not a "bad" weird. Just a regular old normal weird. Linda decided to spend the night, so while we were watching some more episodes of "Bones", the phone rang. It was 10:45. It was Cecil, Norma's brother,(David's uncle), calling because he couldn't reach Norma. Now, Norma and I had a great lunch yesterday and she left here around 2:30, so I hadn't tried to find her. He had been calling for hours and her line was busy and he was very worried. I called her number, sure enough, the line was busy, so we called him back and he was getting ready to drive to Vicksburg!!! Well, luckily Linda was here, so we got our coats and shoes back on and made our way over there in the cold rain. We knocked on the door and Norma asks who it is, and opened the door, looking just fine and dandy!! I told her about Cecil and she picked up her phone, it was working, so she called Cecil and practically had to defend herself about the phone! We figure that a line got crossed up or something because of the bad weather! And she didn't know anything was wrong, because she hadn't tried to call anyone. Of course, her phone didn't ring while Cecil was trying to call her, but hey, it is sometimes a blessing to not have a ringing phone, so she didn't think anything about it! Lordy. So, we left around 11:30, even though I think she would have been happy for us to stay a lot longer. Did I already say "Lordy"? How much easier would that have been if SHE WOULD BUY THE YP'S HOUSE!!!!????? It would be great for everyone, including the yp's and they can just get on the road to wherever the hell they are going a lot sooner!! I mean, the other night I fell in the dog yard while I was putting Woofer in his kennel. Every other dog was howling and barking, but he wasn't, he was asleep in the dog house!! I was so upset and angry, I just started crying at how unfair it was that there are THREE rottweilers that howl and bark and are on chains right behind our houses, yet she goes on and on about how I "neglect" my dogs and my "dog pound", when my dogs EACH have their own Dogloo doghouse, they EACH have a chair to get into, there are trees, there are birds, there are squirrels, and they have so much room to run and play!! I have never had anyone hate me like this. I mean, I hope NO ONE has ever hated me, but the viciousness and cruelty that the female yp has shown to me is mind boggling. And I think her husband is embarrassed by it, but has to back her up. So, the first step to solving the problem is that "for sale" sign. Now, we need to get people in there to buy it. I have to have some peace of mind and feel comfortable again, in the neighborhood. Let's hope that their house will be sold very soon to very nice people, okay?

Congratulations to Grady and Melissa Buford Dixon on the birth of their new daughter, Delia Claire, on January 17. And congrats to the new "nana" and "poppy"!! Times, they are a' changin', aren't they?

Well, I need to go pick up some medicine for my mother. You know, the drugstore delivers, but she always waits until she HAS to have it NOW! Same with groceries and cat/dog food. We have told her over and over to have a "master" list, one that she can write on everyday when she realizes she is running low, Linda or I could pick it up, and then she would never run out, and we wouldn't be made to feel guilty if we can't go get it at the drop of a hat. But she is resisting doing that, so today, Linda has a list of stuff to get her, and I have a list of stuff to get her!! Lordy.

Have a great afternoon and Sunday. I am actually going to watch BOTH big football games tomorrow. It is going to be cold, the games should be good, so I am really looking forward to just kicking back and enjoying. I don't even understand all the rules in football, it is just very comforting to have on, these days!
Stay warm!!

Thursday, January 17, 2008

Today, Thursday, cold as all get out!

So, things have really been moving along for lots of folks today. Apparently, a new baby girl will be born in Starkville in the next 24 hours or so, so congrats to the new parents!! I talked to the new baby's "Nana" earlier, and things are progressing along quite nicely, thank goodness.
AND, thanks to Frank, Steven, and Toby for coming to my aid in getting the IGT stuff out of here. Yes, it was sad, but it was sadder for me to have to look at the stuff, knowing that David was NOT going to be working with it anymore. And now that they took the printer/computer/fax machine/copier monstrosity off of his desk, it actually makes me feel that I have a little more room to breathe! Same with the garage, it is easy to walk in it now, without having to worry about hurting something. And yes, David was a pack rat of the truest form, so lots of what they took will probably be chunked in a garbage bin, but I couldn't chunk it because I don't know what it is! So, thanks to them for that, big time!
AND, a new human resource person called me today, one that I have never heard of, and David probably didn't know about her either, but anyway, she called to tell me that she would put a packet about the COBRA insurance in the mail to me. WELL, she got the full brunt of my frustration, and she kept telling me that there was no record of my calling and other such claptrap as that, but then when I told her I couldn't even leave messages for some people, that NO ONE from HR had notified the insurance or the 401K people that David had died, that I had gotten phone calls to speak with him, and there was lots and lots of envelopes addressed to him, wanting to help him since he decided to no longer work for IGT, she kind of backed off. I asked her, why on earth would I lie about this? I mean, I KNOW my husband died, but they are the ones that have to do the official "notifying", something that they haven't done! And honestly, I should have gotten the COBRA package BEFORE the coverage ran out, not because I had received a letter telling me that my coverage was ended and I called them, absolutely freaking out! PLUS, she was not aware that David had been working out of our house, so like I told her, if we had been on the coast, our house would not be full of IGT equipment, it would be in the warehouse. Also, I would have had access to all of these names and numbers down there, but I am sitting up here in Vicksburg, Mississippi, mourning the loss of my husband AND having to try to take care of all of these matters that have to be dealt with!! By the end of the conversation, she had given me several numbers, her email address, and was offering to help with an insurance problem. She also said that she herself, had been married for 33 years, so she couldn't imagine what I was having to deal with. I think she and I will be lifelong friends now!!!! But it was sure good to be able to vent all of the frustration that I have had for these last few weeks, and I thanked her profusely for letting me unload about it. So, here it is, the second week of the year, and FINALLY, things are getting done. I gave praise to people who deserved it, too, such as MET Life. Those people have gone above and beyond to help me, make sure that I have money, not waiting around for someone else to do something. And apparently, they didn't let the holidays cloud their judgement or their responsibility. Thank goodness for them.
So, I am just now eating lunch and it is almost 4 in the afternoon! It is so cold outside, I had planned on doing some errands, but nope, I think I will stay right here and drink me a warm, tasty beverage! To quote Scarlett O'Hara, "tomorrow is another day"! I really am in a pretty good mood (it is SO nice to get something accomplished!) and feel pretty good, physically, too! I hope that lasts!
Have a great evening. Tomorrow, I am FOR SURE going to the coffee shop. I think it is time.
Later. Okay, there is a glitch with the picture puttin' part of this blog right now. So, just imagine a cat doing something and you probably will have it right!!

Wednesday, January 16, 2008

A cold, rainy Wednesday


I have a few thoughts on this cold, rainy middle of the week. I thought I'd share.

1. I do not want it to get into the twenties for the next few nights. No sir, I am ready for spring. Not summer with its 100% humidity and high temperatures, but spring, where the gentle breeze blows, the trees gently sway, and you can sit outside comfortably for quite a while. BUT, I know we have our winter weather ahead of us, so, it is not time to put up sweatshirts and sweaters yet. At least it is not the cold of Chicago!! Sorry, daudra!!

2. The breaker flipped last night, leaving my kitchen in the dark. An absolute panic overtook me, since I have never had to deal with this myself, David was always here. But, I found it, flipped it back, and survived. Things like that will happen all the time, I will HAVE to stay calm and deal with it.

3. Barry, our life insurance/financial advisor/cousin was here yesterday, giving me some more advice on how I can live on the life insurance policy until I am old enough to draw Social Security (which is ONLY 6 years from now!). I am terrified. I am afraid I will not be able to earn enough to meet my budget, when I am able to go back to work. But folks, I just sit and stare during the day, I cry at the drop of a hat, and physically, I still am trying to heal. That is another reason that I am ready for spring. I think that mentally I will feel better, because so far, time isn't helping me. Each day without David is harder and harder.

4. I have to find some homes for some of these cats. Yes, I love them dearly, but if there was someone that would love them and take care of them, provide them with a good safe home, well, I would feel good about that. The problem is, there is no shortage of cats and these are living in a good home, with me! It would be hard for me to give them away, no doubt, but hey, I am living without my husband, I think I will survive giving away a few cats!

5. And, I have a pounding headache today, due to the weather change, my new glasses, and the fact that my eyes are weak from crying. But I have to go out to pay some bills and run some errands. And it's raining. Fun.

6. My security alarm system went "live" two days ago, so I am now being monitored by the alarm company. That really does make me feel a lot safer, PLUS I get 10% off of my house insurance. Every little bit helps! Now, the only thing left is to try to put that sign together to put in the front yard, telling all the would-be burglars to just keep walkin' on by. I have something that will nab them!!

7. I think I may attempt to go to the coffee shop this week. I haven't been in almost three weeks, but I may stick my head in there Friday afternoon. I haven't heard from anyone there, although I talked to Mrs. Nosser the other morning, and she said that everyone is giving me my space, which I totally appreciate. I am finding it hard to just "chat" these days. My mind is just overwhelmed with all that has to be dealt with.

8. And speaking of dealing with stuff, it must be nice for the financial industry to just completely be unreachable for the month of December and half of January! You would think that nothing happens then! No one can help you, no one WILL help you, they say to "call back after the 1st". Well, my life kind of fell apart in December, I need your help NOW. Because of their work policies, I almost don't have health insurance, because no one has notified anyone that David died. They just have that he was "terminated", which has a whole lot different connotation, doesn't it? Barry said he thinks that these companies and their Human Resources people don't really know what to do when a person dies, and I have to agree. But they sure need to find out and get back to me, don't you think? I kind of feel thrown out into the ocean, not hearing anything from anyone, even though I have called and tried to find out the info for myself. And I have a garage full of IGT stuff that I don't know what to do with. I can't throw it away, it may be something important, and there might be some gaming law that would prevent me from doing that anyway. So, Frank, Steven, if you are reading this, give me a call. I need to know when you are coming to get this stuff. I am sure y'all have proper ways of disposing of it on the coast. Thanks.

So, that's all for now. Have a good Wednesday. Stay warm and dry.

Saturday, January 12, 2008

What's been goin' on.....


I have a word of advice - do NOT go see a movie without knowing what it is about. I have had several people mention "The Bucket List" looked funny, and then I would tell them that it was about two terminally ill men who have a list of things to do before they "kick the bucket". Then the people go "oh no, you can't go see that for about ten years" and I agree. So, today, I went with my sister and her family to Madison to see a movie. It's a beautiful day, Linda spent the night last night and we had a good time eating out, going to Big Lots, and then watching lots of stuff about the television show "Bones". The boys wanted to see "I Am Legend", a zombie movie, a movie that I had no desire to see, so Linda and I looked at the list of movies and picked one that started when their movie did, a "chick flick", what we thought would be a light hearted romantic comedy, a movie called "P.S. I Love You", A MOVIE ABOUT A WOMAN WHOSE HUSBAND DIED OF A BRAIN TUMOR AND HOW HARD SHE HAD IT FOR THE YEAR FOLLOWING HIS DEATH!!!! Let's see, could I even PICK one that would hurt more??? I sobbed, very audibly at times, and Linda asked if I wanted to leave. I should have, but I didn't and by the end, I am sorry, I was sobbing pretty good. The music was good, though, I will say that. I'm sure the women in front of us were like, calm down, lady, it is just a movie, but they also might have realized that hey, this movie is very hard for this woman who is sobbing to see, it must be hitting pretty close to home. At least, I hope that is what they were thinking. When we left, we went and had a wonderful supper at Logan's Steakhouse, then went to a few stores in the Jackson area. Yes, a few times I had a mini-meltdown, but I was trying to keep myself under control. On the way home, I was still having some crying episodes, but mainly I was lost in my thoughts, thinking about how much I miss David.
We get to my street, turn up the street, and HOLY MOLY, THERE IS A "FOR SALE" SIGN IN THE YP'S YARD!!!!! I started screaming, Linda started screaming, we jumped out and just jumped for joy!! So, I forgive the universe for the movie today, because honestly, I haven't been this joyous in a long time!!! And y'all all may think I am crazy, but I like to think that David had a little hand in this, maybe. So, I wish them the best, I hope they make a trillion dollars, just so long as they make it somewhere else!!! Now, the hunt is on for GOOD neighbors, people who will not feel that everyone has to bow down to their desires, people who will give someone the chance to rectify a problem, people who are ADULTS!! People who know what the word "neighbor" means, and who will meet someone halfway to be a good one.
Now I am going to go soak in the tub and run the jets. The day has actually turned out pretty great!!! Have a good Sunday!!

Tuesday, January 08, 2008

Tuesday afternoon, about to have a storm


I have felt crummy all day today. I hate to start off this post with that, but it is the honest truth. I think that I am trying to catch something, something that I really don't want. But, since we had below freezing temperatures last week, and absolutely springlike weather for the last couple of days, well, something was BOUND to happen! I hope that by staying in today, I can ward it off. I have too much to do in the next few days to be sick. Plus, my new glasses are in and I want to go get them. My eyes are so blurry, though, from feeling bad, so that concerns me that I will get a massive headache when I get them! Oh woe is me, woe is me.
I got my alarm system today. I am supposed to hook it up. I opened the box and I just feel so helpless, this is something that David would have no trouble with, at all. I am overwhelmed, and feeling sick doesn't help, that's for sure.
Yesterday, Norma and I put a shepherd's hook out at the cemetery. I put two chimes on it, one with a frog on it and then a wooden one. They were very pretty, sounded nice, but then I noticed that one of the chimes was missing from the frog one! That upsets me, because that was something that David couldn't stand, something not being "even". So, I am going to try to find another chime (it was the last frog one, though) and rob it to fix it. In the spring, I want to get a nice basket of spring flowers to put out there. Y'all, I just cannot put into words how surreal this whole thing is. I just still can't believe that it actually happened. For example, today I got a phone call for David and I asked who it was. They told me and I told them I was his wife, and she asked that I get the message to him so he can call them back. Well, the woman fell all over herself apologizing when I told her that he was deceased. Those kind of things don't help, you know.
With all of that being said, I am going to end this now. The above picture is of a beautiful cat named "Chicken", wearing an electric blue wig, which, if you are interested in purchasing, I will be glad to send you their website address! Thanks, Dan, for the link!!
Have a good evening.

Saturday, January 05, 2008

This January 5 is almost as bad as LAST year's January 5!!


So, I told my kids that I figured that the yp's would give it about a week before they started harassing me again. Boy, are they predictable. This morning, the female called about how my dog ruined her vacation and she wanted to sleep late today, blah blah blah, yada yada yada. She "suggested" that I start bringing the dogs inside again since that worked best for her. I didn't answer the phone, this was on the answering machine. Then, she called back later, but I saw who it was and turned off my machine. Be warned, if you call me, it is going to stay off indefinitely.
Now, the next phone call I got was from one of David's credit cards, asking me how I was going to pay it and when, and could I send them a death certificate? Then the mail had something else about "the death of George David Reid" in it. And this heifer thinks having her sleep interrupted is a real problem? I am PARALYZED with grief, I cannot quit crying, and all of these notices are certainly not helping! I see his handwriting on his post it notes above his desk, his medicine bottle on the table by the recliner, his bedroom shoes, and it feels like a dagger in my heart! And I have to deal with a dog, who, for the record is NOT the only dog barking at night. I was awake until 1 this morning, and a couple of times I heard dogs barking, I went out, it was not mine. I called the police to talk to the policewoman that had advised me before, but of course, she is no longer with the department. The woman who answered told me, though, to call 911 if the neighbors came over into my yard. But to forestall that, Cheryl and Marian both came over and stood in the carport while I fed the animals. And no cat is outside today, much to their displeasure, and they aren't going out tomorrow, I don't care if it is raining catnip!! They are going to be inside! It looks like the rain is about to start here, but I think I am going to put Woofer in the large kennel tonight. Hopefully, he won't get any wetter than if he was in his doghouse. I also ordered the top of the line bark control collar from Foster and Smith this morning. You all know that I have oodles of money to spend, don't you? And I hope that you all recognize sarcasm when you see it!
So, that's it for now. I haven't been able to go to the coffee shop. I just don't have it in me, and I am just too sad. But one good thing, I know the physical therapy is helping me because I turned over in the bed last night, pain free, AND I didn't have to end up in the recliner!! So, that is a positive thing in my life, at the moment.
Have a good weekend.
OH, this picture is of a well-known Christmas display for those of us in Vicksburg "of a certain age". It was on the lawn of Koestler's Bakery, on the main drag into town. They would play Christmas music from loudspeakers, too, especially Alvin and the Chipmunks! It was great - there would be one night that the kids could come to see Santa, NOT in October, but just a week or so before the big day, and I remember the line being all the way down two long sidewalks. More than likely, everyone I went to school with was in that line! David went, too, and that was another time that I probably was near him, way before we met. The other time was the raising of the ironclad Cairo - we saw a picture and I mentioned that that was the angle I saw it and that I was sitting in a tree with a bunch of other kids and he looked at me and said, so was he!! We were 9 years old! Boy, do I miss him. But, back to Koestler's Bakery, the smells coming from there were heavenly and it was always a treat when Daddy would bring in a fresh loaf of bread. Yummmm, good times. Thanks to Carolyn for the picture.
All right, again, have a good weekend.

Tuesday, January 01, 2008

2007 is kicked to the curb!!!!


Whew!! Thank GOODNESS 2007 is OVER!! We started it with an emergency trip to St. Dominic Hospital on January 5, so pretty much this year has gone downhill since then! SO here's to 2008 being a much better year, one in which health and prosperity reigns, not illness and death. Are we all in agreement of that? Okay, then let's go for it!!
I had a nice New Year's Eve. Linda, Don, and the boys came over until about 11, which was very nice. I actually gave Matthew and Scott some of David's clothes. Yes, that is weird, but he didn't wear them when he was alive, I really doubt he would be caring that I keep them after he left. And, a couple of years ago, on a search for just the perfect steel-toed work boot, he found what he liked so he bought TWO of each! He made the comment at the time that maybe he was being overly optimistic but he planned to wear both pairs out. Well, unfortunately he didn't get to do that, but Don now has two perfect pairs of boots, and if he needs to kick something, well, his toes will be just fine!!
I also have tried to organize a few things. The clothes still need washing, but I am slowly getting that done. I am having trouble around mealtime, though. For the first time in over 32 years, it is just me that needs to be fed. David and I enjoyed eating at Cracker Barrel, Billy's, or just anywhere so very much, so I feel his absence very keenly when I am trying to figure out what to eat. I also have started taking some of the Christmas decorations down, but I have decided to leave everything on the tree for now, because it is so pretty and I want to enjoy it a bit longer. Anyone has a problem with it, well, it's THEIR problem. I want to look at it!
Oh boy, the loudest firecracker I have ever heard just went off. Or it was a gunshot. Around here, who knows. For that very reason, Dave, my cousin in law, installed deadbolts on my garage door and put a much brighter bulb in my front porch light fixture. Plus, tomorrow one of the local security companies is going to come over here to give me an estimate of how much it would cost to put in a system. Now, I will be honest, I am concerned about cost. There is no paycheck coming in, at the moment. I don't know how much my health insurance will cost me, I have utility bills, my mortgage, and credit card debt, but I feel that it would behoove me to get a security system for my house. Peace of mind would be worth it. I do not want to be afraid in my own home. David and I love this house, we expected to have many many years in it, so I don't want to feel fearful and isolated in it. So, if it is reasonable, I am going to give them the go ahead. I will feel much safer.
I also have to tell you that I felt David's presence the other night in our bedroom. It was the same feeling that I would get when I knew he would call or I would call him and he'd say that he "felt the vibe" from me. He and I had wondered if the bond would still be there "if the worst happened". Well, the worst happened, but I think the bond is still there. Yes, it could be wishful thinking. I do have him on my mind just about every minute of the day, but this was different. It was an actual physical feeling, a very strong sense that he was in the room. So, I did what I normally would do, I talked to him, told him how much I loved him and how much I missed him. It helped. I hope there will be many times that I feel his "vibe". He is such a part of me, how can I not feel him near? I do miss him terribly, though, and I know I will miss him for the rest of my life. And that is as it should be.
Now we move into a new year. I hope that EVERYONE has a good 2008. Shoot, have a GREAT 2008!! I am certainly hoping that the Reid clan will be stronger, happier, and healthier than we have been in a long time! And I wish the same for everyone!
HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!