Tricia Dishes

Thursday, March 27, 2008

The end of another week

Okay, so, my face still hurts. I cannot chew on the left side. I got ten more injections of Botox in the right side. I think that "tongue" is now a food group.
BUT, the good news -
Check out the banner hanging in downtown Chicago! Yessirree, that's my girl's face on that there banner!!! AND, "Don't Spit the Water" may be performing somewhere very very special in May, so keep posted for that!
It's spring, so I need to take down my snowman flag and put up a spring one. Nah, it can wait. I mean, will the "flag police" come and tell me to take it down? Maybe in June, but not now.
I think I will try a chiropractor for my pain. I am pretty depressed about it and am terrified that it is going to be with me forever. I just honestly can't even think of that, seriously.
Everyone have a great weekend!! I just have to share - I just told the microwave to "hush" and I meant it. I'm seriously tired!

Sunday, March 23, 2008

Happy Birthday to my wonderful husband

Saturday, March 22, 2008

I am still alive

Well, what a wild ride I have had for the last few weeks! This facial pain has been unbearable. AND I thought I was doing so much better but this evening it is really bad, I feel that someone has infiltrated my mouth and set little fires in it!!! How's THAT for imagery?? Anyway, I am taking a ton of medicine, some of which makes me very loopy. I kept asking my sister last night if I had paid for my food and where did we go? I don't think the doctor I am going to is the one I need. I keep having the spasms and with the pain, well, you do the math. I liked the guy that injected the Botox into my cheek and it is stable. I think if he did it to the other one, it may help. I will find out Monday. The insurance company is driving me crazy, however, sending me notices that I am no longer insured, even though I have sent them a lot of money!! Hopefully, that will eventually get ironed out.
But my face is a big concern because, I NEED A JOB! I feel that this is somewhat physological due to the fact that I am afraid to FACE the future, FACE my life without David, FACE the fact that I need to bring in an income, just all kinds of FACE things. I don't know. I just know that I am embarrassed by how it looks and in pain from how it feels.
So, that's it for now. Tomorrow is Easter. For the first time since the 1800's, it is falling on March 23. March 23 is David's birthday. All last year he assured me that he would be here to celebrate his birthday. Well, we know what has happened. I had a bad crying spell this afternoon, then went and changed litter boxes! So, I probably will have some problems tomorrow, and as I type this, my face is just spasming like crazy. I think my mental state has a lot to do with my physical state, so everyone, please pray for me. I so need it. I feel so afraid and alone, even though I know I have a lot of friends that are here for me. I still wake up in the middle of the night expecting to say something to David and lately, I have been basically hallucinating and talking to someone when I am in my bed at night. I am really screwed up and the pain in my face is unbearable. I just don't know what to do next, who to go to for help, what to do to get myself into a better frame of mind. If anyone has any ideas, I'm all for listening. I am getting a little desperate. Hell, I'm VERY desperate!! I need advice!
Thanks for being there for me, though, and for the prayers I've gotten. I love you all.

Sunday, March 16, 2008

Stuff 'n such

Here are just a few things happening - the pain in my jaw, face, and tongue, UNBEARABLE!! The Botox injections have yet to stop the spasms. great, all that pain from 10 injections and they don't work? wonderful
I have basically spent the last three weeks either in bed or at a doctor's office. It even hurts to watch television. Sucks.
I've lost 15 pounds by basically just eating popsicles and jello. So, that is kind of a good thing.
But here is the best good thing - THE YP'S HAVE MOVED AWAY!! ALL GONE!! HOUSE EMPTY!! BITCH IS IN ANOTHER STATE!! I just feel sorry for St. Louis, now!
Okay, that's it. I am in agony so it is time for more drugs and bed.

Tuesday, March 11, 2008

Things that are happenin'

I am still in pain. Miserable, mind blowing pain, pain that has kept me in the bed for close to two weeks. I feel that someone has just plucked me out of my life and dropped me into a "world of hurt". I could not get the MRI on Friday as we had planned because of these face spasms. I could not keep my face still for even ten minutes, much less the 25 to 30 minutes that they said would be needed. So, that sucked. And we came home in snow. Snow. Freakin' weird.
I was pretty much in agony all weekend, but Sunday, Norma and I went to the cemetary and the headstone is still not up at David's grave. It has to be soon, though, it has been long enough. We went and ate, afterwards, and I had mashed potatoes and dressing, which I was able to eat. I pretty much have been having potatoes all the time, from Wendy's especially.
Yesterday, I went to two doctors. I was given a new muscle relaxer, plus the strongest dose of Xanax that you can get. Great. But last night, I just honestly lost it, I sobbed and yelled and fell on the floor just sobbing, over David, over this unbearable pain, and how I feel that I have just been crapped on for the last few months. I finally called Cheryl, just to have to convince me why I should not go down that bottle of sleeping pills! I just need to sleep! I finally did go to sleep and awoke this morning, still in agony. I got the prescription for the Xanax filled, took on in the drugstore, and was pretty much stoned for the next hour, then came home and slept for hours. And now it is time to take another one. It did slow the spasms down, though. Now the next thing will be a Botox injection into the muscle in my jaw. They haven't called to tell me when to come in though, so maybe they won't. Something has got to be done, though.
And on the yp news, apparently they will leaving town by the weekend. Hallelujah, praise God, they sold the house and are moving to St. Louis. I hope that the new neighbors will be nice, but anybody would be better, unless they have say, a meth lab, or something. I am pretty sure that neighborhood already has that covered, though, down on Polk Street!!
Okay, it is drug time, so everyone have a great tomorrow.

Wednesday, March 05, 2008

Quick update

Okay, so this jaw thing has really gotten out of control. I can barely stay out of bed, it just hurts so badly. This morning, though, Cheryl called to see how I was, which wasn't good. It was 11 and I hadn't eaten or drank anything since last night. The next thing I knew, Linda was calling and of course, I broke down. I called my dentist and he said come on in. Linda and I went to his office, he took one look at my mouth and told me there was nothing he could about it, that I would have to go to an oral surgeon. I went to the oral surgeon, in Jackson, this afternoon and pretty much sobbed most of the time. He took xrays but couldn't tell what was going on, other than my face is out of whack, I can't put my teeth together, and I am in agony. So, I have an MRI Friday afternoon, then go back to see him Tuesday morning. I just keep crying. It's like I told Linda, I feel like such a freak that this has happened. I was doing pretty good, I think, dealing with the David situation and financial problems. Now this comes out of nowhere and is causing me much physical and emotional pain. And now, more than ever, I miss David to be here to take care of me. After having such a loving mate for so long, it is kind of harsh reality that it is just me here, taking care of myself, which, I admit, isn't too impressive, at the moment. Both Linda and Norma offered to stay with me tonight, but I am about to take another dose of my new painkiller/muscle relaxer and hopefully, I can get to sleep.
I should have gone to the doctor earlier, but I really thought it would clear up by itself. This pain, though, isn't just your garden variety, run of the mill TMJ. Of course not, I have to get a pain that needs an MRI and an oral surgeon!
Okay, gotta go. I didn't realize it but I am loopier than I thought I was. I am having trouble typing, so I guess I just need to go on to bed.
Later. Forgive any typos or incorrect verb usage, I didn't even proofread it!

Monday, March 03, 2008

Erica and Fuzzy

Erica and Fuzzy
Originally uploaded by Fuzzy Gerdes
What happens in Chicago, doesn't stay in Chicago!

Saturday, March 01, 2008


All right, I am sick and tired of this damn face hurting! I feel like The Elephant Man! In fact, Carl, David's brother, was over here for a few hours and I kept saying "I am not an animal", but he assured me that it didn't look as bad on the outside as it feels on the inside. Well, I should hope not, because I would have to put a paper bag over my head! I find myself sucking on the inside of my cheek that hurts so badly, just to keep from accidentally chomping it again. This is the damnedest thing I have ever had!! But it was certainly good to visit with Carl. We talked about lots and lots of stuff, with me holding and rubbing my cheek the whole time. In fact, when he left, he said I wouldn't need a facial since I had been rubbing my face for five hours! It just hurts really bad. I have already taken pain killers, but they haven't worked, so I will be going to bed soon, so being unconscious will help a lot. I just hope I stay asleep for several hours. I am just ready for it to be over with. Duh. Of COURSE I want severe facial pain to be over, that's a no brainer!
Anyway, good to see Carl, who was over here because The Chill, his band, played at the Run Thru History today. And he had his tradition RTH sunburn, too. Me? I barely saw the sun today. I stayed inside in bed, most of the day, except for feeding the dogs and when Carl and I went to Wendy's to pick up something for supper. Baked potato...felt so goooood again my poor cheek innards. I would sleep with it in my mouth, if I weren't afraid that I would choke to death! That would not be cool.
So, that is it for now.
OH, for those of you from this area and have heard of The Castle in Raymond, the one where you could ride around it at Christmas time and see all of the decorations and have Santa and Mrs. Claus wave at you? WELL, I got a notice today that all of the contents of that house are being auctioned off in Vicksburg on March 15, due to a court order! We had heard they were gun runners. I guess the gun runnin' business has fallen on hard times, just like the rest of the businesses around here. I just may have to go take a gander at all the stuff being auctioned off. I don't want it, but it doesn't cost anything to look, does it??