Tricia Dishes

Thursday, January 31, 2008

Rain rain, go away......

It is a dark and stormy day. It looks to be a dark and stormy night. BUT, I had an absolutely restful night's sleep last night, I actually didn't get up until, are you ready for this, NOON!!!! It was thundering and dark and I just felt so cozy in my clean sheets, with my little cat curled up beside me. And yes, I felt a tad guilty, but dang it, I am tired, and I need my rest!! And yesterday, I felt great! The physical therapy on Tuesday really did a world of good, I woke up yesterday raring to go, with hardly any pain, so I finally got some things done! I put David's work shirts upstairs in a closet, I actually washed, folded, and PUT UP some clothes, changed sheets on the bed, and started reading a book!! It is actually a light hearted mystery book, not one on grieving, heaven, or death, which is all I have been reading lately. Granted, night before last I had a sobfest, one loud enough that the cats came and checked on me, but like I said, when I woke up yesterday, I felt wonderful! It's been eight and a half weeks since David left. I miss him terribly, words cannot describe how much I miss him, and how sad I am that he isn't here, but it feels that this week I don't have the feeling that he will be walking back in at any time. I feel guilty about that, but I know that David would be saying that it was about time! And I know he is here with me, I just feel his presence. But, I am becoming accustomed to figuring out what I want to eat, what I want to watch, and after being David's caregiver for so long, plus being his wife for decades longer, it is a weird feeling, to know that it is just me that I have to take care of. And I am coming to terms with that. I do have my terror about what I am going to do to make a living, though, but I don't dwell on that right now. I can't. I have to continue to heal mentally and physically, which I am doing, and then I will be more able to figure out what I am supposed to do with the rest of my life. It is mind boggling, to say the least! It will just take time, and that's okay.
Tomorrow is supposed to be sunny and cool, so I hope I wake up as refreshed and pain free as I have been for the last couple of days. I do have things to do tomorrow, plus Linda will be coming over and that is really a lot of fun. I am ready for it to get here!!!! And then the Super Bowl is Sunday. I will have my own party of one!
I just got a very sweet card from a semi-neighbor today. She commented on how nice the tribute to David was and how if I needed anything, to give them a call. Isn't that lovely? I truly do appreciate it and it certainly lets me know that I am NOT alone. Oops, I just got teary-eyed. Thank you, Anita. You don't know how much your card meant to me. I know how hard it is for you to say goodbye to your friend. But who knows, David may be in the welcoming committee!! He is probably a "greeter", like at Wal-mart, because he loved meeting new people!! I just hope that he doesn't have to wear a special vest!!! Unless the vest is made of gold, then that is fine!!
Okay, that's it for now. Everyone have a great afternoon and a great Friday!!


  • At Friday, February 01, 2008, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    Tricia, I am so glad you're beginning to feel better. Please don't worry about the future...this is a time for healing and I'm sure God will take care of you while you take a much needed rest after all you've been through. One day at a time....
    Hopefully, Pam, Tanya & I will see you soon. Take care and enjoy the ballgame!! GO GIANTS!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    Love ya, Jan

  • At Saturday, February 02, 2008, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    Hey, Tricia. I'm so happy to hear you're having some moments of happiness here and there. I hope before long you'll have more of those moments and you continue to feel strong and healthy. I'm thinking of you and please remember, you're never alone!
    Love ya!
    -Rebecca Rine-Stone

  • At Tuesday, February 05, 2008, Blogger St. Elizabeth of Cayce said…

    Happy belated. You're right that those calls will come in from time to time. We figure it means that there are people who still think fondly of my Dad. And that's a good thing.

    Cute photo -- looks like the diet and/or exercise you mentioned is working for you. That demonstrates some guts and perseverence --- a good example for all of us.


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