Tricia Dishes

Sunday, December 30, 2007


So, I survived the night. I cried quite a bit, couldn't go to sleep, so I got up to check everything. Of course, I heard thumps and whams and bumps all during the night, but with as many critters as I have, that's just the normal noises around here. I bought a book the other day, about a woman whose husband was killed in a car wreck and her journey afterward. Surprisingly, it was comforting to read, and after a few chapters, I was able to go to sleep. But this morning it was weird, knowing that my coffee wasn't going to get made unless I made it, that "Tunes 'Til Two" wasn't going to be turned on until I turned it on, that if I want something to eat, it will be ME fixing it, and not David, standing in his robe at the counter making me toast, as he has done on Sundays for decades. Of course, the last couple of years he did sleep late on Sundays, but a lot of times he would get up and fix the toast, then go back to bed and I would sit in the recliner and talk to him. Changes. It will take time to get used to my new life, so I shouldn't expect to just jump up and do something today. Even reading the paper was hard, I didn't have to give the funnies and The Parade to David to read (the only part he DID read!). And here it is, almost noon, and I have yet to go downstairs to let the cats out or feed them or any of those things that need to be done. I am still in my gown!! The sun is shining, so I may sit outside for a little while, even though it is kind of nippy out there! Who knows? I need to go through cards and make sure thank you notes have been written for things. Erica did the lion's share of the note writing, but more stuff has come in and honestly, I just put it down somewhere. But I just may not do that today. Be assured, thank you notes WILL come your way, I just don't know when!
And Wonder Girl, maybe we could meet at the coffee shop when you are in town this week. That would be a great place to visit, and you could bring the kids, or you could not bring the kids, it would be up to you. I would enjoy that.
Well, the cats downstairs actually have weight falling off of them, apparently, because I hear them screaming my name to come feed them!! I gave the dogs some old rolls today, so they are quiet for the moment. And seriously, if anyone wants a sweet kitty, fixed, vaccinated, litter trained, and loving, I can hook you up! Let me know!
Have a great Sunday afternoon. And thanks for the words of encouragement. They do help.

Saturday, December 29, 2007


Well, the kids have all gone home. This house is very quiet, I am discovering. After Christopher and Katie left this morning, I will not deny that I sobbed and screamed David's name several times. This is the first time I have been utterly and completely alone. Sure, David would work on Saturdays sometimes, but he always called every few hours, or I would call him. But not anymore - he is really gone. And that makes me so sad and more than a little bit angry. I actually had pain in my chest, from both grief and fear, and that was not a pleasant feeling. I feel sick to my stomach from crying, a natural feeling, I know, but one that probably will be around for quite a while, I'm sure. I tried to do some house cleaning today, but couldn't. I tried to muster up the strength to go to the coffee shop, but I couldn't. I thought about gathering up clothes to wash. Yep. I couldn't. I have watched a few episodes of shows that I TiVo'd during the last 6 weeks. It was weird not watching them with David. In fact, I don't know whether or not I will watch anymore of "our" shows, it was quite painful. It is just so damn quiet! The cats don't answer me when I talk to them, although they do look at me funny. It is just odd.
And I know I am not the only person in this situation. I am not wanting anyone to think that I am "special" or experiencing anything new. It is new to me, however, and it is going to take some getting used to. Yet, I cannot get it into my head that David has been gone almost a month! Surreal, just surreal.
Christopher and Katie left with a car loaded down with stuff this morning. He is taking several of his dad's tools, tools that David painstakingly picked out over the years (he has tons!), but he also took David's walking stick. I can see Christopher showing it to his children, talking about how David always carried it on their many walks during his childhood. When Erica left, she took one of David's straw hats, which I know will have a place of honor in her home, too. David is just so everywhere, you know? His watch and comb are right where he left them. His wallet is still sitting beside them, full of business cards, a few credit cards, a library card, a museum membership card, and as per usual, there is not one bit of money in there!!! Ah, David. His cellphone is sitting there, and it is almost too painful for me to open, because his phone list is in there - "Home", "Tricia cell", "Erica home", "Erica cell", "Christopher and Katie home", "Carl work", "Susan home", "Rick monitor room", and the one that makes me cry the most, "Mom". There are dozens of work numbers in there, too, and I know that those people probably felt very strange deleting David's number from their lists. And life goes on, with David now in the past. I just cannot wrap my mind around that, but there it is, it is reality.
Christopher, Katie, and I went to the coffee shop yesterday, and there was the hat and plaque above the door. I will have to venture in there by myself soon, I know, but that will be so strange. But, I have to do it because I need the coffee shop more than ever right now. And it will be comforting to be in a place that David loved, I think. Maybe next week, maybe the next, I don't know. There is no timetable.
And I have had two physical therapy sessions and they seem to have helped a little bit. Hopefully, the MRI will show what the problem actually is, and we can fix it. I will be doing pool exercises next week at therapy, and no, I am not going to wear a bathing suit. That would be the one bit of trauma that would push me on over the edge! But I am hoping that I can start getting some pain relief and begin an exercise program that will help me become healthier and pain free.
Well, that's it for now. I don't even think I am going to put a picture on here tonight. Wait a minute, yes I will!! It's a cute one, too!
Night. Have a good Sunday.

Thursday, December 27, 2007

Well, Christmas is over.....

Morning, all. This day starts with the news of a major political figure being assassinated, so, so much for "peace on earth, goodwill to men", or in this case, a woman. Too bad that this will cause repercussions in the coming year. There always seems to be something bad that happens in the world during the holidays.
But, in the Reid household, we actually had a fairly decent Christmas! Christmas Eve found us visiting my mother-in-law for a while, then my mother. Linda and her family were over there, too, so we convinced our mother to go out to eat with us, AND SHE DID! THAT is a Christmas miracle! I really don't think she has eaten in a restaurant since spring! Good Mexican food,mmmm, possibly a new Christmas Eve tradition!! Then everyone went their separate ways and we opened our presents. And yes, I had some bad moments, how could I not? I missed David being there, being all excited about the gifts, and I missed his excitement of giving me my gift! But I composed myself and enjoyed the evening. Afterwards, I did kind of have a mini breakdown, but again, I got all right. On Christmas morning, we went to Mass, and yes, tears flowed there, too, but in a good way, a cleansing cry, of sorts. We put a poinsettia on David's grave (those are harsh words, aren't they?) and then had a wonderful Christmas brunch at Waffle House!! I really did enjoy that, and then off we went to the new theater in Madison. We got there, the parking lot was packed, lots of people go to movies on Christmas, apparently! We saw "Enchanted", a movie that did live up to my expectations, and one I highly recommend to everyone! It was great! Since we had some time before the other movie, we ventured out looking for a place to eat. Nothing was open. So, our Christmas dinner consisted of movie hot dogs, popcorn, pretzels, and pizza, washed down with huge soft drinks. And you know what? It was fantastic!!!! Before our movie started, we looked up and there were Daniel and Lesley, going to see another movie, so that was a bonus. And then we saw "Walk Hard". Y'all, I laughed so hard, it was so preposterous! And if you go, be warned, there is male frontal nudity in it, which to be honest, caused me to double over in laughter even more. David would have loved both of these movies, the hot dogs, the Waffle House, everything we did (okay, maybe not the "grave" part!) so I feel that we celebrated in the way he would have wanted us to. Now on to the rest of our lives!
Erica and Fuzzy are back in Chicago now, too. We went over to Jackson a little early yesterday, to cash in gift certificates, and to return a couple of things. After we got them deposited at the airport, Christopher, Katie, and Ian and I ate at one of their favorite restaurants, and had a very good time. Today, Ian is going to come over here, and I have my first session of physical therapy and the MRI is scheduled after that. I hope that we find a solution, because the pain is getting worse, not better, and that really scares me. I canNOT be unable to do what needs to be done while in pain! And after everyone leaves on Saturday, I am tossing all of the junk food in this house! I just ate a donut for breakfast!! WRONG WRONG WRONG!!!
Oh, and I am going to rip Woofer's head off, too! He barked all night long. There was activity on the street when he started it, but I didn't see anything at 3 a.m. when he started it up again!! I do not want the yp's in my face again EVER, so I have to find a solution. If I heard it, well I KNOW everyone else did too. That is not a good thing. He is a little too exuberant!
That's it for now. I hope everyone got what they wanted and had a great holiday. New Year's isn't such a big holiday for me, but The Twilight Zone marathon is on the SciFi channel, so that will be what I will be doing, plus E and F gave me the DVD of Project Runway, so that will also be some New Year's viewing. I hope that 2008 will be a better year for us, even a GREAT year for us! I wish the same for everyone reading this, too!! Eat some blackeyed peas for good luck!

Monday, December 24, 2007

Christmas Eve

Unbelievably, it is Christmas Eve. I feel like I just started my Christmas in the last couple of days, and I am really trying to get in the spirit. And it has worked, to a certain degree. I am excited about tomorrow, when we are planning to see two movies. David always wanted to go to more than one movie at a time, and we did it a few times. So, he will be with us, I am sure, enjoying the movies right along with us! I think it will be a great day, a new tradition, and we will just have a blast!
So, to everyone, have a wonderful Christmas Eve and Christmas Day! Hug your families close, don't hesitate to tell them you love them, and ENJOY!! You will be glad you did!
Love to all!!

Saturday, December 22, 2007

December 22

Today is a very important date in the Reid household. David and I met 34 years ago today. Four years ago he gave me a gorgeous garnet and diamond ring to commemorate the 30th anniversary of that day. And every year, since 1976, we have celebrated December 22 for another reason - it's Christopher's birthday! Today he is 31 years old. Go to Erica's website for a very cute picture of the both of them when they were teensie weensie! But, it is hard to believe, that 31 years have flown by that fast.
But today has been extremely hard for me, for those very reasons. I miss David so much. It is so weird, it seems like he will just come strolling in from the kitchen, and everything will be back to normal. Katie and Fuzzy got here today, too, which is great, I am really glad that they are here, but it also just brings home the fact that my spouse isn't here, I am no longer part of a couple and that just feels like a knife in my heart. And all this Christmas stuff? I'm sorry, I just can't get into it this year. I do know that we will have a good Christmas day, though, since we are going to see two movies. I am looking forward to that. Erica and Fuzzy will leave the next day, and it will be good for her to get back to Chicago, after being here since November 12. And then Christopher and Katie will leave on the 29th, and he will get back into school again. I want them to be home and resume their lives. It will be hard, but I will be fine. I really do plan to do some tv catching up, and trying to get this pain reduced. I hope that I can start walking around the block, too, to get some exercise and to start losing some weight. I need to get some healthy food in order to get healthy! And I will do it, too, I just know it!
Well, I am tired, so I better go to bed now. The next few days are going to be so busy, so very very much to do! And I will do it, too, I just know it! Hmmm, that sounds familiar......
Have a good Sunday!

Friday, December 21, 2007

My Thursday

Here is a rundown of what Thursday, December 20 was like:
1) I went to the doctor about my leg/hip/back pain. He thinks I have a herniated disk. Isn't that just great? I had an x-ray, and I start physical therapy AND have an MRI next Thursday. He did give me a prescription and I DID sleep last night, although I had a bad dream about David. So, mixed blessings there...

2) My brother-in-law, Don, had a "wing" party at Hooters last night. I have never been to a Hooters, nor am I a big fan of chicken wings. And Christopher is a vegetarian. So, of course, we went. The wings were so greasy, I couldn't eat them, but we got some carrot sticks and celery, plus I got a salad, so we didn't starve. It was nice to be out in a holiday setting, though, and we had a good time. The worst part was sitting on a stool with my newly discovered herniated disk. Yeah, that was comfy. After we left there, and after I had THREE cokes, we went to a few stores. I didn't buy anything, but I certainly got very familiar with their restrooms. THREE COKES???? WHAT was I thinking? They were tasty, though.

3) We got home and listened to some music, and the spirit of David was certainly very evident. I tried to go to bed several times, but the music kept drawing me back into the living room. David would literally stand in front of the cd player, intentionally playing more and more music to keep whoever was here from going to bed! That was just one of the many quirks that we love about him!

4) And that brings us to today, Friday. I have an eye doctor appointment this afternoon. I cannot see, so that is one of the things that is going to be fixed on me. And tomorrow the kids' spouses will be in and it is Christopher's 31st birthday!
So, we are going to have a good time.

5) Everyone else, have a great day tomorrow, too!!

6) Later.

Tuesday, December 18, 2007

Life is still going on

So, the sun keeps coming up everyday. Christmas is in a week. Bills have to be paid, food has to be eaten, clothes have to be washed. And I am managing to get up every day, although I really don't want to. But David is still gone, which really blows my mind. How can that be? I look at his pictures, I think back to how fast that last week went, and it is hard to believe that he has been gone since December 2!!
Yesterday wasn't great, I really had a hard time coping. And I have cried, the ache is really a physical pain. But I have laughed, and actually have participated in some Christmas things. And we have watched some comedy, which really has helped a lot. "Flight of the Conchords" just cracks me up (Erica and Fuzzy got the DVD), and then we went through the TiVo and watched some "30 Rock". Forget all of the dramas that we used to watch, I pretty much deleted them. And that three hour special that David wanted us to watch called "Living with Cancer"? Gone. Deleted. I'm just about cancered out, if you know what I mean. Only fun things, that's what I want to see.
I actually dreamed that I had another plan to try to help David, but then I woke up and the realization hit me that it was over. We did all that we could. That was what the counselor said this afternoon, too. I was mentioning that I was worried that I hadn't done enough for David, and she asked if I would have done anything differently in the two weeks prior to his departure, had I known that he would die on December 2. I said no, I probably wouldn't. He knew I loved him tremendously, and we were doing everything we could to make him comfortable and happy. So, I need to get over my guilt. That's what counseling is for, right? And she is great. I think it is helping and will be beneficial for me to get through my grief. I am grateful to my friend, Donna, for finding her for me. And the hospice people have come by, too. Nature, the nurse, came by yesterday and when she read the editorial by Charlie, she had to wipe her eyes. She is the nurse that is mentioned in the article, so she was greatly moved. And the social worker came today while I was at my session, and the kids said that she was hilarious, that we should adopt her! She told them how great David's service was, and how our family had really touched everyone at Providence Hospice. That is really nice. AND she brought us some ornaments for the tree! We have so many up there, though, it was hard to find where to put them! But we managed to squeeze them onto a few branches. It is really a very lovely tree. I am so glad that Erica and Katie put all of the colored lights on it Thanksgiving weekend. David thought it was beautiful. It probably pales compared to what he is seeing now! I cannot even imagine.
That's pretty much all I have to say this evening. I haven't been as down today as I was yesterday. I guess that will fluctuate, until I have more good days than bad. And I go to the doctor on Thursday for my leg and hip pain. DRUGS! That's what I need!! And I get my eyes checked on Friday. I want to start 2008 with new glasses, no leg/hip pain, with an exercise program to help me get healthy. Oh, and I am going to eat better. I guess those are my New Year's resolutions!!! 2008 has GOT to be better than 2007!!
Great. Woofer is barking now. There is a family that lets their dog roam at night, which, in turn, makes my dogs bark, which will make the YP bark at me! STOP IT, WOOFER!!!! Good, he is quiet now. That would be ALL I would need now, another "incident". I hope those are gone forever.
All right. Beddy bye time. Have a good Wednesday.

Sunday, December 16, 2007

The end of an era

Dan Fogelberg died today. For those of you who are not familiar with his music, just know that his voice and words resonated with just about all of us who heard him in the seventies and eighties. One of my early dates with David was to see Dan in the Jackson Auditorium in February of 1974. The album "Home Free" was one of our favorites that we played over and over for several years, along with the album "Souvenirs". In fact, the term "Dan Fogelberg" was our family's "safe" word, you know, if you send someone to pick up your kid and there is one word that they say to let the kid know that it is all right to leave with the person? Yeah, "Dan Fogelberg" was our safe word. Some of his music still stops me in my tracks today, bringing back so many memories of those early days of David and I as a couple. We went to see him everytime he came near and always loved being at his shows.
I discovered that Dan had been diagnosed around the same time that David got his diagnosis. We were concerned about him, but let's face it, we had a big mountain to try to climb, too. Ironically, a week or so before David left us, he asked if I had heard anything about Dan and I told him, no, but I assumed he was doing okay, you know, the "no news is good news" approach. Well, here it is, exactly two weeks since David's death and now Dan Fogelberg is gone. It is so fitting, somehow, that the timing was so close. And wow, the music in heaven just got better!!! Cancer. Such a vile, evil word. Oh, how I wish it could be stopped. It is taking too many good people in the prime of their lives, when they have so much more to accomplish and to give. We have to find a cure. Too many are leaving us, way too many.
So, that is it for this evening. Today, Christopher and Erica and I headed to Jackson to do some Christmas shopping. And yes, it was hard, going to lots of places where David and I had gone, and it was hard, too, knowing I wasn't going to be buying David a present. But we did have a good time, even though my legs and back were slowing me down. And now we actually have presents to wrap and hopefully, I will get in the Christmas spirit. David wouldn't have it any other way.
And, I am tired, but I couldn't sleep, knowing that I wanted to post about Dan Fogelberg and how much he meant to us, so I got up to do so. Maybe now I can drift off, in a world with one less good person in it. I guess I need to play the Dan F. Christmas album now. I hadn't been able to because I was afraid it would upset me. Now I need to hear it to remember and reflect. Like I said, it is the end of an era. It is quite sad, but hope and the future are right out there, waiting for us. We will survive, and be stronger than ever to meet the challenges ahead.
So, go dig out your Fogelberg albums and just sit back and enjoy. And if you don't have any, go buy "Home Free" and hear this man's beautiful music. You will be glad that you did.

Thursday, December 13, 2007

I am so incredibly sad......

Well, it has now been a week since the funeral. And I have to say, the void left by David's death has just enveloped me with sadness. I miss him so much. And I just keep crying. I can't stop.
They (IGT) came to get the van today. That left a big empty space in the driveway. But the techs that came to get it are good friends, so that made it a little easier. They are very sad, too. Then Barry, David's first cousin and our life insurance agent came this afternoon to discuss financial things. Mind boggling, just mind boggling.
And then, Dr. Graham called, devastated that he had not been told of the recent events. The day after David died, I called the Cancer Clinic and they said they had sent an email to Jackson Oncology, but Dr. G said he never got it. He said he had been wondering how the radiation treatments were going this week and was planning to start David back on chemo after that. He was stunned when he was handed a report from Dr. Zachow saying that treatment was over because David had left us. He was so sorry he missed the funeral, he would have loved it, and told me that David wouldn't have lived near as long without me. Now, I admit, I pushed those supplements and other things on David and I do think that they did increase his time. But it was David's spirit that kept him going, even until the end. I asked Dr. G what was the longest time a patient with cancer as bad as David's has lived and he said 18 to 24 months. David lived 46 months, all the time with Stage 4 cancer!!!! He is an inspiration, I would hope, to other cancer patients, and Dr. Graham said that he admired him greatly, that he considered us friends. So, I am sending him a copy of Charlie's editorial tomorrow. I told him he would cry and he said he probably would. A good man, a very good man, Dr. Graham, just one of the many who supported us throughout this cancer odyssey.
I did NOT order a grave marker yesterday, though, as I had planned. Needless to say, I have been very upset, so I called the cemetery office and asked if I could come in this Friday. She said yes, and then I asked if the money had to be paid for the marker up front and she said yes, and then I asked what a ballpark figure would be for it. TWENTY SEVEN HUNDRED DOLLARS!!!!!! I gulped and told her that I didn't have that kind of money and that I couldn't pay it until the insurance money comes in. The plan is to go in the week of Christmas. David would be so appalled at the amount spent on his funeral! And now I understand why the little funeral home markers are still up several months after a burial. NO ONE HAS THE MONEY TO GET A MARKER!!!!
The death certificates came today, also. Merry Christmas.
Okay, that is all for now. I haven't slept over three or four hours in the last few days, so I think I am going to try ANOTHER sleeping pill tonight, just to see if I can be unconscious for a few hours. I cannot turn off my brain, my legs, hips, and back hurt so terribly bad, so I need some sleep.
Everyone have a great Friday. Oh, and I'm sneezing since it is cold now after being so hot yesterday. great just great. But in the next few days, we will start getting ready for Christmas. We will NOT let this be a horrible holiday season! David wouldn't stand for it!
So, happy shopping and baking and wrapping and singing carols and all of the other things that go along with a fun holiday!

Wednesday, December 12, 2007

David and Jim Henson

Erica's friend, Noah Ginex, a very talented artist, sent us this today. I love it. Thanks, Noah!

Wednesday, less than two weeks before Christmas

Well, here we are, smack dab in the middle of one of the busiest times of the year. Christmas is less than two weeks away. It is 80 degrees. And David has been gone for 10 days.
We are still getting stuff together around here, a massive search FINALLY came up with his van keys. There are clothes that have been washed that need to be donated or dispersed among family and friends. I have never gone this long without talking to him, in the 34 years that we have known each other. It is quite sad, that I can't pick up the phone and give him a call, just to let him know what is going on, and find out what's happening with him. I did open his cell phone last night to call one of his co-workers, but when I saw the list of his contacts in there, I just broke down, knowing that he won't be calling any of those people again. The phone will have to go back to IGT, after someone copies down some numbers for me. I just can't.
The editorial in the paper was just absolutely wonderful. I called Charlie to thank him and he said that the good ones needed to be remembered. That's for sure, and David Reid was one of the best! And Angie R. has put a plaque above the door at the coffee shop, right next to his hat, that says "Remember David Reid", much like the famous "Remember Duane Allman". In fact, the idea that someone needs to do a new carving on a hill around here has been bandied about by more than one person! Wouldn't David just hoot over that???
And we are now "addressing" the thank you note issue (pun intended). Erica has really gotten down to the actual writing of some of them. Me? Not so much. I am still kind of paralyzed. The life insurance man will be over tomorrow afternoon. The good thing is, he is David's first cousin. The bad thing is, the life insurance has to be dealt with, something that we were hoping wouldn't be necessary for quite a while. But, here it is. I am concerned, needless to say. I am just physically and mentally unable to think about jumping into a job right now. Later, of course, but I need to heal. I did go back to the counselor yesterday, talking about how odd I feel that I am never going to see or talk to David on this earth again. That absolutely hurts my brain to think of that, not to mention the pain that it sends to my heart. And as I told her, I know I am not the first widow ever, nor the last, but this is the first time that I am a widow and it is quite disconcerting. Who knew that the "'til death us do part" would come up so quickly?
And these cats! Does someone want a beautiful, long haired black, fixed, vaccinated cat that needs a good home? The last couple of years has been pretty rough, and I just did what I could to keep these kitties safe and healthy. Well, they are certainly safe and healthy, but now, they need someone to love on them all of the time, not just a couple of minutes a day. So, if you or anybody you know would love a sweet kitty for Christmas, I can hook you up!
Next week we are going to actually try to do Christmas stuff. A woman at the visitation the other night went on and on and on about how this was going to be an awful Christmas, that it was going to be horrible, how it was going to be the worst Christmas ever, blah blah blah. You know, THOSE kinds of people just need to go away, or at least be banned from a funeral home!! And I was kind of captive, with her leaning down and holding on to my arms. PEOPLE! Don't you think I KNOW that this is going to be a pretty upsetting Christmas? But you know what, David would NOT want us go around, tearing our clothes, throwing ashes in our faces, laying down moaning and crying. He would want us to be joyous, praising God, because that is what David will be doing! And it is time to start new traditions in the Reid household. We can do it. It may be as simple as just going to a movie on Christmas afternoon. But it will be what WE do, and we will survive. One thing I have learned throughout this almost four year journey, we are strong people.
But, like yesterday at the coffee shop, I told Daniel how weird it was and he was like, yeah, tell me about it! He said that he wants to say, well that was all good and nice, David, but now come back and let's get back to normal! But that won't happen, will it? The Nosser women gave me, and Christopher and Erica a clinging cross to hold in your hand. I hold that cross and pray for God to give me peace, to take care of David and let him know that we love him. And eventually, I will feel absolute peace. Not yet, of course, but it will come, I have no doubt.
Today we have to go buy the marker for David's grave. This is a Christmas present that I wish I didn't have to buy, but again, there it is. "Beloved husband, father, and friend" is what we are going to have it say. Of course, for the last couple of years, David has been coming up with outlandish things to put on it "when the time comes", but now, since the time got here before we knew it, I don't think he will mind that we are going to go for something a little bit more traditional. As we always would say, he'll get over it!
So, that is the latest from the corner of National and Third. The food has run out, the cakes have dried out and starting to be kind of iffy to eat now. We know we have dishes that need to be returned. If you don't hear from us and brought a dish, PLEASE let me know. Lots of stuff didn't have names on them, so we just don't know where to return them.
And people who have called and we weren't here, yet I haven't returned your call, it is nothing personal. I just can't talk on the phone very much these days. While the kids are here, I am letting them field a lot of the calls, because I am just not mentally up to it. I appreciate your understanding.
That's it for now. Have a great day.

Monday, December 10, 2007

Remember David Reid, who never lost the melody

This is the article that Charlie Mitchell wrote about David. It is truly wonderful.

We met in elementary school.

After those days our encounters were rare and brief. They came at
predictable intervals as we aged, in grocery store aisles, at back-to-school
nights for our own children, reunions.

Exchanges with David Reid always went past, "Hi, how are you? Fine and you?
Fine." He always had something wry, something personal, something sincere to

David made an impression, a good impression. He was consistently upbeat.

It was good that the Post had David on the front page a few weeks ago,
"outing" him to the world for what was probably the most outlandish deed of
his life. David was one of four Hinds Community College commuters from
Vicksburg who in 1973 carved, in giant letters, "Remember Duane Allman" into
an earthen wall along the then-new Interstate 20 near Bovina. Prompting the
news story was a performance in Vicksburg by Gregg Allman, brother of the
legendary guitarist who had been killed in a 1971 motorcycle wreck.

The carved memorial lasted for years, becoming an icon to I-20 travelers.
Gregg told David and his co-conspirators the family had seen photos and
appreciated the gesture. That meant a lot.

Anybody who knows anything about music--and David knew a lot about
music--will tell you that Duane Allman, though a rocker's rocker, always
kept the melody, never lost it to the noise.

And so it was with David.

He was keenly intelligent, with an excellent memory, but he didn't care
whether anyone knew it or not. Impressing others wasn't something he desired
to do. David was as casual as the Hawaiian shirts and wide-brimmed hats that
were his stock-in-trade.

He and his classmate, Tricia, equally smart and warm in her friendships,
formed a marital partnership in which they derived pleasure from being
considerate of one another. Money didn't matter. Having a posh house didn't
matter. Having the newest car didn't matter. What other people thought, did,
cared about or worried about didn't matter. People mattered. Relationships

Together, David and Tricia infused their ideals into their children, Erica
and Christopher, talented and creative children who have become talented and
creative adults. The Reids equipped their daughter and son with roots and
wings the way great parents do--a grounding in values plus decency plus a
yearning to explore, learn, serve.

Word that David had cancer came years ago. Tricia, an Internet blogger
before that term was even invented, wrote about it the same as she had
everything else. Both were realistic, prayerful, confident, scared,
accepting the challenge. What choice did they have?

They won a hell of a lot of battles, but, as the cliche goes, not the war.

Just a few weeks ago, a backache sent David to the doctor. It wasn't a
pulled muscle. It was another malignancy. The verdict: David would die in a
matter of weeks.

They say hospice nurses are compassionate, which would be expected. But
they're also pretty seasoned. After David's nurse had her first private
meeting with him, telling him how things would go, I'm told she left the
room in tears.

The end came last Sunday night just as forecast, family and friends all
there. A free spirit became free.

Encounters with people like David Reid are brief and rare. When they happen,
listen for the melody. They've learned to sustain it through the noise.

-- Charlie Mitchell is executive editor of The Vicksburg Post. Write to him
at Box 821668, Vicksburg, MS 39182, or e-mail


Today's paper

Charlie Mitchell, the editor of our local newspaper, was a very important part of the funeral arrangements for David. He painstakingly used his OWN mustache trimmer to trim David's, after he was brought in. He drove the hearse to the cemetery. He wrote the obituary. But today, in his column, he just went above and beyond - the whole column is a tribute to David. A friend of ours called and asked if we had gotten our paper yet, and since we hadn't, we jumped in the car and went to a convenience store to see what he was talking about. When we opened up the paper to the editorial page, we were just taken aback, and as we read the wonderful words Charlie had written, we just started crying, crying over a well deserved tribute, and crying for what we have lost. We so miss David. My heart aches to talk to him, to see him, to hold him, to laugh with him! And now I want to tell him about this! It is just so, and I know I have used this word a lot lately, but it is so surreal, this whole thing about David dying. How can that be? We were still fighting!
But we are slowly realizing that David is not coming home, he won't be calling me from the road, I won't be meeting him at the coffee shop, where we have hung his hat permanently, no more listening to music or going to antique stores to search for candlesticks! However, I am confident that David is doing just great! He is not in pain, he is in Heaven, where he is having the time of his afterlife! I won't say he is "counting the days" until we get there, because I'm pretty sure they don't have calendars in Heaven, but I know he will be waiting. He has always waited for me! He didn't want to do anything without me knowing or going with him. I do miss him.
All right. I will change the subject for just a moment - what is the deal with this 80 degree weather in December? Huh? Not a big fan of heat, you know!!
Have a great evening and go get a Vicksburg Post! It will be well worth it!!

Sunday, December 09, 2007

So unreal.....

Originally uploaded by Erica Reid
Well, I haven't woken up yet, from this unbelievable dream, but I have to realize that it is actually reality. It's been a week - David is gone - it is the strangest thing. His wallet, watch, and work identification are sitting on the table in the bedroom. The book he started a few weeks ago is sitting by the bed. The clothes that he wore that last week in the bed, still need to be washed. Yet he is gone. I look at pictures, such as this one taken many years ago, and can't believe that I will not be seeing him in this life, any more. I mean, we fought so hard to beat this cancer. How on earth did it just take him this fast? I guess that is something I won't know while I am still living. But one thing, when David's spirit departed his body, that cancer DIED! So, the cancer did NOT win, ultimately, did it?
And about that, the "me still living" part - I guess that I am now at the beginning of the third phase of my life. Birth to 21, when I got married: 21 to 53, when we raised our children: and now 53 to whatever, widowhood. I am a widow. That just blows my mind. As far as I am concerned, though, I am still married, even though we said the words, "for better or worse, for richer or poorer, in sickness and in health, 'til death us do part." Pretty bizarre that we are at that point, isn't it?
Anyway, I will share more about the last week in future posts. Today Fuzzy and Katie need to get to the airport, then Christopher and Erica and I will muddle through the task of trying to get to a new normal around here. I need an income, for sure, but I need time to heal, myself. Christmas is just days away and regardless of what has happened, we ARE going to celebrate. David would have it no other way!! It will be different, but it will be a celebration.
Hold your family close. Enjoy every moment.
Have a good day.

Thursday, December 06, 2007


Originally uploaded by Erica Reid
It's been such a surreal week. I will be posting about it later on. Thanks for everyone's kind words and prayers.
I will say that I am extremely proud of my husband. It has been such an honor to have been his wife for almost 33 years. There were so many visitors last night, and the service today was just about standing room only. The line of cars in the procession was very long and the sadness that this great man is no longer among us was palpable. He IS extremely well loved.

Tuesday, December 04, 2007


G. David Reid

G. David Reid died Sunday, Dec. 2, 2007, at his residence. He was 53.

Mr. Reid was born in Jackson and moved to Vicksburg when he was 1 month old. He was a 1972 graduate of Warren Central High School and attended Hinds Community College and Mississippi College. He was an electrical technician with various companies and, at the time of his death, was an employee of IGT. Mr. Reid loved his family, music, movies, animals and laughter. He was devoted to his faith.

He is survived by his wife, Patricia Bane Reid of Vicksburg; a daughter, Erica Reid Gerdes and her husband, Fuzzy, of Chicago; a son, Christopher Reid and his wife, Katie, of Columbia, S.C.; his mother, Norma Reid of Vicksburg; a sister, Susan Mahan of Vevay, Ind.; and two brothers, Carl Reid of Flowood and Kyle Reid of Hattiesburg.

He was preceded in death by his father, George L. Reid.

Services will be at 11 a.m. Thursday at Riles Funeral Home Chapel with the Rev. Jimmy Biedenharn, pastor of the Byhalia United Methodist Church in Byhalia, officiating. Burial will be at Green Acres Cemetery.

Visitation will be from 5 until 7 p.m. Wednesday at Riles Funeral Home.

Memorials may be made to the American Cancer Society, Box 1193, Vicksburg, MS 39181.

Monday, December 03, 2007


The funeral arrangements are as follows: Riles Funeral Home on Indiana Avenue
Visitation: Wednesday from 5 to 7
Service: 11:00 Thursday
Burial to follow at Green Acres Cemetary

Sunday, December 02, 2007

David Reid - March 23,1954 - December 2, 2007

The love of my life went to be with the Lord this evening around 9:40 p.m. Rest in peace, my angel.

Saturday, December 01, 2007

Another day with David

I just want to tell everyone how much their comments and prayers mean to me. This is the hardest thing I have ever had to do, obviously, and we have had lots of visitors, phone calls, letters and cards, and emails expressing love and concern to our family. There has been a steady line of friends and family coming over, lots of food has been brought in at times, and while I am exhausted and sometimes cannot "chit chat", I do appreciate the support that we are getting. David did speak with the minister yesterday, yet the afternoon brought many fears and tears. Last night, we were sure we were losing him, so we sat and told him how much we loved him, rubbing him on the arm or leg, kissing him, praying over him, playing his favorite music, and even sang to him, letting him know that while we are going to miss him terribly, he had our permission to go to his next adventure. But lo and behold, this strong man rallied and is still here today! He has had many visitors today, but unfortunately, he is unable to speak much now. He manages a few words, but most of the time he doesn't say anything. One of his long time friends, Tommy, was here this morning and David tried to talk to him, but couldn't and it broke my heart to see Tommy's broken heart. David's boss came today and I KNOW David wanted to tell him about a slot machine that needed work, but couldn't! He has to be frustrated - he knows who everyone is, yet can't communicate. And for those who know David and I, we're big talkers! I know his mind is going a mile a minute, wanting to tell these dear friends how he feels. They know. They know.
So, here it is night again. Fuzzy and Katie are here again, as well as Jeremy. Kathy from the coast came in today, as well as David's aunt and uncle and cousins. A friend from the coffee shop brought us our coffee this afternoon. Erica's friends at work sent a muffin tray to us. Jeremy brought in breakfast again. We had fried chicken from The Klondyke. The list goes on and on. We will have a ton of thank you notes to write in the near future. They will get done. Linda is staying the night again, fortunately, because I do not know what I would do without her. And that's the honest to God truth. Norma will be back tomorrow to sit with her oldest child. This is a tough time, y'all. Keep those prayers a comin'. We will be needing them, that is a fact that just has to be faced. This is not going to end with David getting better, it will end with David going to be with the Lord and we will be left behind to miss him so much it will be a physical ache. There will no way to get around that.
Thank you everyone for your love and support. I couldn't do it without you.