Tricia Dishes

Thursday, November 29, 2007

Thursday

The "new" post today was actually posted last night, but due to a glitch, it got taken off until today. So, here is the latest update.
David had a better night last night, but is barely awake now. We try to wake him up for him to drink something, but it is getting harder and harder to do so. His breathing is becoming labored, so much so that there have been times that we literally are holding OUR breaths until he breathes again. He did wake up enough today to tell Christopher that he "thought he was on the way out". We think he is, too. The good thing is that he doesn't seem to be in any pain, that he is just going to drift off. The bad news is that we are having to stay behind and let him go. The tears are flowing pretty freely around here, because we know it can be any time. There were other people he wanted to see, but even if they came, I doubt he would know that they were here. Maybe on some level he would, though. I don't know. As I told him last night, this is new territory for both of us, he's never died before and I have never lost my husband before. It is so surreal.
To top it off, it is a gorgeous day today. It is really mind boggling that the whole world isn't dark and bleak over this. And while we wonder how and why this has to happen, he has had a good life, and has touched so many people. He is leaving such a legacy of love, family commitment, work ethic, love of rock music and good movies, and friendships that have spanned decades. You just cannot ask for more than that. His memory will live on for many many years, as a person who did make a difference while he was in this world. Who could ask for more?
Okay, the tears are flowing and I can't see.
Later.

9 Comments:

  • At Thursday, November 29, 2007, Blogger St. Elizabeth of Cayce said…

    Tricia:

    I'm sure I'm not the only person who will have trouble seeing what she is typing through welled up tears.

    I'm sure the hospice nurses have givine y'all good info on comfort measures (keeping his lips moist, turning him (gently, slightly) occasionally to avoid too much pressure on any one spot, and continuing to talk to David, who will be able to hear far longer than he will be able to respond.

    What nobody can teach you is what I sense in your posts -- a fierce love for your husband and his equally strong love for you and y'all's kids. That love and intensity of passion is what you will carry with you for the rest of your lives, even as you ponder all the "why questions" later on.

    My father died on the last day of Spring, and I also had trouble with the rest of the world looking so lovely and floral when we had so much pain. But then, the return of colors -- fall's leaves or winter's berries, spring and summer flowers -- reminds us of the promise of the Resurrection. We'll keep prayig for you guys as you prepare to bid David adieu.

    SC Friend of Chris and Katy

     
  • At Thursday, November 29, 2007, Blogger My name is Sarah, said…

    Oh my love. There just aren't any words I can think of to say. I love you guys so much, and you are constantly in my thoughts and prayers right now. I am so glad you are writing your experiences here. I feel privledged to get this glimpse into this sacred time. I am so, so sorry for the pain you are all in. I wrote Erica an email last week, but I'm not sure she got it. Mom and I reminisced about David's pumpkin pies this weekend. :) Your family has meant so much to me, and I am so sorry I am not there with you right now. I love you. Give David a kiss for me.

     
  • At Thursday, November 29, 2007, Blogger Marian said…

    You all are in our thoughts and prayers....Marian and Bob

     
  • At Thursday, November 29, 2007, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    Thoughts of love and peace beaming from Chicago to all of you in Vicksburg.

    -Erin C.

     
  • At Friday, November 30, 2007, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    Tricia-

    Your words bring tears to my eyes. I cannot even fathom the pain you and your family are feeling as you see your husband leave this world. I am not married myself, but nearly lost my father last year and felt so scared and so confused as to why it was happening. I am glad your family is there with you and I wish you as much peace and comfort. Let all those feelings out. You have a group reading these words and praying for you, even if we are mere strangers. Blessings.

    Peace-
    Michelle Kaiser
    former classmate of Katie and friend of Katie and Chris

     
  • At Friday, November 30, 2007, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    My thoughts and prayers are with you. I too did not understand how the weather could be so beautiful when I lost my father. I soon realized it was a tribute to his life. Beautiful weather for a beautiful life. Everyday should be beautiful for him. The beauty will always remind you of how beautiful his love of life is. I hope you realize just how lucky you are to be loved as David loves you. Also how lucky David is to be loved by you. Not many people I know have the love and devotion to each other that you two do. Consider yourself very blessed. I hope I find that love one day. I wish you all peace.

     
  • At Friday, November 30, 2007, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    Tricia, I don't know when you'll have the chance to read this but I wanted you to read an e-mail I received from one of my bunko girlfriends. I know it can't possibly take away the hurt or the sadness you feel right now, but her words were very comforting to me and I want to share them with you. Please tell David I love him and I had a wonderful time visiting with him "one-on-one" at the reunion. Betsy took an awesome picture of us (him, not me) sitting on the park bench. That picture will forever have a very special meaning to me. Love ya'll!!

    Jan

    Ok...here's the e-mail:

    Tricia's words brought tears to my eyes. It is so awesome that David knows where he is going. I just wish so many others knew of that hope. Even in death, we can face it because we know of who is waiting for us. It is awesome to know that so many people will be waiting and rejoicing his arrival home--to a perfect body, no sickness and definitely not the junk we deal with on our fallen earth.

    Please know that they are in my thoughts, but it is just awesome to know that he will die so peacefully with his family by his side. I could not think of a better way to go.

    Crystal

    PS
    Thanks for sharing her blog. I would love to read about it daily. It is such an inspiration.

     
  • At Friday, November 30, 2007, Blogger Laura said…

    Dear family. I cry for your pain and wanted to let you know how much we love you all. As Sarah said we miss the pumpkin pies David made. I tried to make one and it turned out good. Just not like David made. We love you all.
    Love Laura

     
  • At Friday, November 30, 2007, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    My love and my prayers go out to your whole family. You have a wonderful family bond that is so amazing. Please let me know if there is anything I can do for you.
    Susan Willingham

     

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