Tricia Dishes

Thursday, September 13, 2007

One of life's mysteries, solved

This has been an absolutely crappy week, no way around it, just not great. So, today, in the rain from the hurricane, we had to go to the Social Security office so David may ONE day qualify for long-term disability. That is what we were told to do by Met Life: the case manager said he would definitely be turned down, but if he ever needs the long-term disability, and he may, with the supplemental payments that they will make when he has to miss because of chemo and/or doctor's appointments, they have to see that he has made an official request with Mississippi Social Security. Okay. The office is across the street from McAlister's, so we decided to pop in and get a baked potato before we go to the S.S. office. We are ordering and we hear a familiar voice saying, "I'll get that" and we turn around and LO AND BEHOLD, there is Ian, working behind the counter. We were delighted to see him and he said he would join us at our table in a few minutes. So, here he comes, and proceeds to tell us that he had been working in Vicksburg for several weeks, he thought we knew (we had NO clue) and he wondered why we hadn't been in there before now. We explained the "no clue" part and then he said, are you ready for this? "I left that jug of iced tea by your backdoor the other day" and we looked at each other and said "YOU LEFT IT? WHY DIDN'T YOU SAY SO?" He said he had left a note (nowhere to be found), but didn't know we had gone out of town, plus he left it by the laundry room door, because he thought we would have gone in that way instead of the deck (we don't) and after he saw my post about the tea, he didn't know what to say so he didn't say anything!!!!! We are relieved!!! And he said, sorry, it was sweet tea!!! Now, did we jump to conclusions? Yes, we did. Do we still think that this could have been a trick by certain individuals, especially since we weren't home? Yes, I wouldn't be surprised at anything that they would do. You read about it all of the time. I am very glad that it was a friend who left the tea, but these days, you just cannot be too careful. So, mystery solved!!! Whew!!!! Thanks, Ian!!
Now, I just have to cheer up. I have been so down, so weepy, I just feel drained. It really worries me about David going to work, because he gets so very very tired after just a little exertion, but I am hoping that getting back into the swing of things, being back with co-workers, just having to do something, will help sustain him throughout the workday. I just honestly feel overwhelmed, tired, and honestly this week, I just haven't felt like I can keep on keeping on, if you know what I mean. I would love to sleep 24 hours straight, but I am lucky if I can get 5 hours straight, and then I wake up every hour during that. So, I know fatigue is part of the problem. But I want to do something and not worry about David, medicine, money, or anything, just do something fun!! And something that doesn't cost anything, too!!! I would love to go to Jackson and just walk around the antique shops, not worry about getting home and who needs what and what needs to be picked up at what store. But, such is life. At least it has cooled off! That is a wonderful change.
That's all for now. Nice to know the truth behind the tea, huh?

For the record, I am not "enjoying" any self pity. I don't want ANYONE to think that I am sitting around here, going poor poor pitiful me. That is the farthest from the reality of what goes on in this house. And I know that everyone has problems, I am not wanting anyone to think that I feel that mine are more important, because they certainly aren't. The reason I started this blog was to be able to write about what was going on. I think I have been upbeat, optimistic, and one of David's biggest cheerleaders, but I AM overwhelmed. I am only human. It is hard to be over here dealing with this 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, every waking moment dealing with cancer, finances, and the future, or the lack thereof. I DO want to do something fun, I can't help it. This is MY life, too, as Erica told me once, and I am only one person, dealing with this, the mothers, and at the moment, the most severe pain I have ever had in my leg, which is very uncomfortable. But let me repeat, I do NOT sit around feeling sorry for myself, and if it came out that way, well then I didn't mean for it to. I was just writing what I felt. And I DO wish I could sleep for 24 hours because I know I would feel better if I could get some rest. But as soon as my head hits the pillow, BOOM, my brain is in high gear, which is why there are blog posts occasionally at 2 in the morning. Sleeping pills don't help.
This HAS been a crappy week, starting with the midnight call from Norma sobbing for us to come over because she had fallen out of the bathtub - David not getting out of the bed for a few days,because he just didn't have the energy - my leg, the fact that every step I take it feels like it is going to buckle out from under me. The fact that I am having to juggle the finances in order to get all of the medicine refilled, get groceries, and oh, wait, we got the car insurance bill today, due in two weeks, that's just great. Insurance is balking at paying several hundred dollars for some doctor visits, even though it has been proven that the doctor is in network, the mortgage is due, utilities are due, and I have to find the money to pay all of it. It gets to be a bit much at times, you know, and I wrote about it. This week I HAVE been weepy. I HAVE BEEN DEALING WITH THIS FOR OVER THREE YEARS!! I think I have the right to get a little down, once in a while.
So forgive me. I won't do it again.