Tricia Dishes

Wednesday, April 11, 2007

Wednesday, April 11

This morning we went to the cancer clinic for David's eight hour chemo. The place was packed, as always on Wednesday morning, so when they called us back there, we already were worried about whether there would be a place for me to sit and what time we would get out of there this afternoon. Pam, the wonderful nurse, with her back to us, asked how we were and I told her that David had been running 101 fever this morning, and she turned around and her eyes filled with tears. She took us back into a private room and told us that she did not want to give David that long treatment, that she had been on the phone with our doctor and the drug company, and she didn't feel that with his weakened state that it was a good time to have the chemo. She also told us, one of the first medical people to do so, that she didn't want David's time left to be filled with sickness from the chemo. So, we have an appointment with our doctor tomorrow to ask some very painful and hard questions. I probably won't be in the room, because I know what the answers will be, but I would rather hear it from David, not the doctor. I feel that he will be on a smaller dosage of this chemo, to buy us some more time, but it may be that that option is rapidly leaving us. The last three weeks have really been rapid spiral downward.
So, it sucks. I am sad and angry, but I refuse to let depression ruin what we have left. And as he has mentioned, the new Harry Potter book comes out in July!!!! He wants to read it!!! We are still going to fight as much as we can, but the quality of life has to be worthwhile while doing so. I guess we will find out tomorrow.
I'm sorry that this is such a downer, but as Daniel said today, it is what it is. He got the full brunt of my tears today, and I told him that I doubted it would be the last time I cried on his shoulder. David Day came in (we were at the coffee shop after we left the clinic) and he said screw responsibility, screw the bills, go on a trip and have a wonderful time. We may just try to do something like that, when we get our income tax refund back. Hopefully, we will get something back and have a little fun while we can, even if it is just at a cabin over looking a lake.
All right. That's all for now. No cute cat picture again. Maybe later.

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